Been thinking the last couple of weeks, of getting my life back on the right track. After an emotional trauma that set the entire family off its kilter for two years, it finally feels like its time to live again.
So putting heartache on the back burner and having finally been able to put it into Allah's hands completely- I feel I have found myself again. Definately tattered and torn, but I feel myself underneath what remains of this and my happiness occasionally comes peeking out. Once I could finally feel some happiness, slowly I felt my soul emerging from the depths of despair. Like a shy child or a timid animal, my happiness was scared, haunted and fearful of what was outside its hiding spot.
See for almost 50 years my life has been one of happiness. I was a person who was tremendously blessed by Allah with the gift of happiness. I was happy as a child, and this got me through the High School years with no major problems. I had a gift of finding joy and happiness in my world. It was not until I was nearly 50 years old, that I was truly tested with a deep, hurtful experience that stunted my spirit for a very long time. There were days I never thought I would survive and then slowly the pendalum started to swing, it took quite a bit of time but I now feel myself again.
This is what has brought me to this blog, I feel the need to work out a few things for myself and my future. Its now time for me to search inside myself a bit more and find something rewarding. This could be a bit of a search but I am ready to start this journey.
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